At the Heart of Time and Space
by Accio Abarero
Summary: A collection of Doctor/Rose short stories. Just added: Once Upon a TARDIS. Post-Series 4. A Christmas TARDIS trip goes a bit awry when the two arrive at Hotel Fantasia.
1. Conversationally Speaking

Author's Notes: This will be my collection of oneshots and drabbles that feature the Doctor and Rose.

**Title:** Conversationally Speaking  
**Genre:** Romance/General  
**Rating:** PG  
**Pairings:** Doctor/Rose, Mickey/Jake  
**Summary:** He'd never admit it, definitely not to himself and most definitely not to Rose, but the idea that Mickey the Idiot was perhaps giving someone a better show of Valentine's than he was was just a bit irksome to him.  
**Notes:** Set during Series Two. Takes place post-"Age of Steel" and pre-"Love and Monsters"

* * *

He knew that sigh. Oh how he knew that sigh. In fact, he had been expecting it ever since he heard the cell phone ring.

"Oh I know that sound," he jested, looking up from the console of the TARDIS, "The delightful sound of homesickness and domesticallity."

"Oh hush up, will ya?" The blonde shot back, "It was just Mum."

"Jackie?" The Doctor started, momentarily hoping that it was nothing serious that would require them going back to her time to save it from aliens. Again. "What'd she call for?"

"Wishing Happy Valentine's."

He quirked an eyebrow at that. "Now what's so bad about that?"

"Well I was going to call Mickey, but..."

Ah yes, he thought to himself, Mickey the not-so-idiot, now stuck far away in a parallel world. That would explain Rose's melancholy sighs perfectly. And the way she looked at her cell with that sadness in her eyes. She'd had to get another one, Mickey off saving his world from Cybermen with Rose's old phone.

"Let me guess," the Doctor began, in hopes to raise her spirits, "Last minute cheap candies and a rumpled bouquet of flowers? That seems his style."

Rose laughed, a smile creeping back onto her face, "That's Mickey all right."

He turned to another part of the console, "Well if it'll ease your troubles, someone else is probably suffering Mickey's last minute gift this time instead of you."

Her eyes lit up at that, obviously wondering what information the Doctor was keeping privy. "What?"

"I said Mickey's got..."

Rose rounded the console, "I heard that. I'm asking whatcha mean by it."

"Oh," he punctuated, his eyebrows raised, "You didn't notice."

It wasn't a question. Oh no, the Doctor was enjoying the fact he clearly knew something about Mickey that Rose didn't.

"Obviously not. Now give it up, what's this about?"

"At least, I would figure by now that it'll have happened. What with their genetics being the same and I highly doubt a change from an R to an M will alter that part of him, so it's really just a matter of time until..."

"What are you on about?" Rose cut him off.

The Doctor froze mid-sentence and turned to her, "You really didn't notice?"

"Notice what?"

He sighed, "Jake and Ricky."

"What about it?"

"Oh you're thick. And here I thought it was blinking obvious. Guess not."

He rushed around the console to tinker with another bit of the TARDIS, but Rose wasn't about to give up so easily.

"No you don't. You are not getting out of this. Fess up, what's this about Jake and Ricky?"

The Doctor paused, humming to himself and obviously pondering all the various ways he could put this to her. After a moment, he smiled and casually went back to tinkering.

"Dance partners."

Rose stared at him, part of her hoping that he wasn't meaning dance in _that_ manner of terms and part of her thinking that it explained a lot.

"You mean," she started slowly; "they were together?"

"Give the girl a star!"

"Oh come off it. But Mickey, he's...he's..."

"He's Ricky, with a different life and name; but same genetics."

Rose shook her head as she sat down on the floor, "So you're telling me, Mickey's treating Jake to the same sort of pathetic attempt at Valentine's he always got me and I'm stuck here being the only one not celebrating anything?"

And unreadable expression crossed the Doctor's face before he started rushing about the console flipping switches.

"Doctor?"

"Where'd you like to go?" he asked, grinning down at her on the floor.

Rose shrugged, "We do this everyday."

He hastily dropped the toggle he held and sighed. This was going to be one of those domestic things that he'd rather not venture into. Setting the brake on the TARDIS, he sat down next to Rose.

Turning to her, he smiled, "Suppose you're right. Nothing special about it if it's routine. Plus our luck, we'd get ourselves into some sort of mess again."

Rose laughed at that, "As if we do anything but get in and out of messes."

"So?" he queried, hoping Rose would give him any sort of hint. He'd never admit it, definitely not to himself and most definitely not to Rose, but the idea that Mickey the Idiot was perhaps giving someone a better show of Valentine's than he was was just a bit irksome to him.

Rose leaned her head over on his shoulder, "Let's just stay here, yeah?"

"In the TARDIS?" he asked, clearly baffled that she seemed content with that idea.

"I suppose I could ask you to take me to some romantic place in the universe but..." she paused, her eyes flickering up to his, "I guess it's more of 'it's the person who counts' rather than the place."

His features softened at that, a gentle smile on his face. Shifting a bit, he put an arm around Rose's shoulders as the TARDIS hummed below them. Just as Rose settled against his side, the Doctor jumped up with a mad grin on his face.

"Wait right here, Rose."

And before she could say a single word, he'd dashed off into the depths of the TARDIS. Rose could hear rummaging off somewhere in the strange Time Lord ship, but as to where it was coming from it was hard to tell. Finally, she heard a loud "Aha! Found it!" echoing from above. Moments later the Doctor plopped back down beside her, grinning eagerly as he thrust a small red box into her hands.

"What's this?"

His smile grew, "Oh just a little something..."

Rose looked at him, trying to gauge just what sort of surprise she was in for. Finally, her curiosity got the best of her and she opened the lid.

"You've got to be kidding me," she murmured, "How old are these?"

"Not old," he replied with a grin, "They're from the year 4,675."

She looked at him skeptically, "You're telling me in the year 4,675 they still have conversation hearts?"

He shrugged, still grinning, "Of course. You humans could never get over that chalky taste."

Rose started laughing to herself at that, delicately reaching out to pick up one of the small candies.

"_Ur a Star_," A robotic female voice seemed to speak from nowhere and Rose almost dropped the small pink heart.

"It...talks."

The Doctor smirked, "I know. Aren't they fantastic? Go on now, have at it."

Tossing the heart into her mouth, she was met with the same familiar taste she'd known for years. She turned beside her to see the Doctor picking up the box and taking out one for himself.

"_Ur a 10_," A robotic male voice echoed as the Doctor popped it into his mouth. Around crunches, he mumbled, "Knows me quite well, dontcha think?"

Rose laughed, leaning up against him as she took another from the box.

_"Hot Stuff,"_ the voice resounded, and both her and the Doctor burst into giggles.

They sat there for hours; taking turns picking up hearts and laughing at the more ridiculous phrases. At one point, Rose selected one simply stating "_Beam Me_" and the Doctor started off on a tangent about how in that time period they had beam transport.

"Like on _Star Trek_?" Rose had asked.

The Doctor insisted for quite awhile that it was much more complex than the version on _Star Trek_, but finally relented that the base concept was the same.

As they neared the bottom of the box, Rose smiled to herself as she noticed their surroundings. They were seated at the base of the TARDIS console, and what had started as an innocent lean towards the other to reach the candy had turned into a comfortable lack of space between them as Rose was pressed up against the Doctor's side.

Turning towards the Doctor, she just stared.

"What?" he mumbled around a mouthful of hearts that were all echoing out their robotic sounds at the same time.

"While I'm rather used to sitting at home and getting a cheap box of chocolates and a tattered flower or two, I'll have to admit- this was a pretty great Valentine's. So..."

She sorted around amongst the remaining candies before choosing one.

_"Thank You,"_ the robotic voice sounded as Rose smiled at him.

The Doctor held up a finger, rummaged through the candies himself and emerged triumphant as a _"Ur Welcome,"_ echoed from his candy.

And so the conversation via hearts began. Rose selecting a _"Ur Nice"_ and the Doctor replying with a _"How Nice_."

_"Bad Boy_," Rose had countered. The Doctor just grinned, selecting an _"I'm Sure_" in return.

_"Be Good."_

_"I Will."_

As the box got closer and closer to being empty, they both scrambled to grab the last ones. Finally, their fingers secured the last two hearts- the two sayings resonating like a double gunshot throughout the control room.

_"Kiss Me_" the male voice said only seconds before the female voice announced, _"Let's Kiss_."

The two froze, dropping their candy as if it was poison. Of course, in their scramble to get the last hearts from the box, they'd gotten even closer and therefore it made the whole situation turn rather awkward.

Before either one could speak or move away, the TARDIS took it upon itself to hit a bump in the time vortex they were parked in. Rose found herself toppled forward as the Doctor fell towards her. In the middle of the confusion, their lips met.

The Doctor pulled away and glared up at the console, "I can do some things for myself, thank you very much!"

And before Rose could ask why he was yelling at the TARDIS, she felt him gently press a kiss to her lips. Rose smiled and kissed him back.

"There," he remarked, trying to act casual as he smiled nervously at her. "Happy Valentine's."

Rose lit up, reaching over and clasping his hand tightly.

"Same to you, Doctor."

* * *

In the parallel world, Jake sat in the back of the old blue van wrapping a wound on his hand as the Cybus Industries factory burned on the horizon behind him.

"Hey," a familiar voice called out. Jake looked up to see Mickey standing outside the back doors to the van. "Happy Valentine's."

Mickey held up a slightly singed and battered handful of flowers and a crushed box of chocolates sheepishly.

"You're kidding me," Jake muttered.

"What?"

"We just fought off who knows how many bloody Cybermen and you're out getting me presents."

Mickey looked down at his usual selection of Valentine's gifts and shrugged.

"It's the thought that counts?"

"Or you waited until the last minute to buy something, you git," Jake remarked playfully, as he reached out and helped pull Mickey into the van.

"As I said, it's the thought that counts."

"Weak defense, mate. Do better next year."

Mickey sighed in defeat.

"At least I didn't get you something lame like conversation hearts."

Jake smirked, "Point taken."

* * *


	2. The Time Lord Touch

**Title:** The Time Lord Touch  
**Genre:** Humor/General/crack  
**Rating:** PG-13  
**Pairings:** Doctor/Rose  
**Prompt:** _Rose+Donna. LOL, Doctor._

* * *

Saving the world always gave her an incredible urge for chips afterwards. Voicing this aloud to the ragtag group of the Doctor's current and previous traveling companions earned Rose a laugh, but the Doctor himself just grinned and mouthed 'Ah, our first date' to which Rose smiled. Jack, who took it upon himself to make the whole thing into some sort of gathering, suggested a nice place in Cardiff that he promised had wonderful chips.

And that brought them to the small restaurant crammed full of familiar faces and a few she didn't know quite too well yet. Rose was about to take her basket of chips over to where the Doctor was talking with Jack's Torchwood teammates when a woman walked into her path.

"Rose? Do you mind chatting a moment?"

She smiled, remembering the red-haired woman's brave actions during the battle they'd just endured. The whole thing was a blur, but she managed to recall her name after thinking on it.

"Donna, right?"

The woman smiled, "Just a quick chat, I promise. Then I'll let you get back to him."

Donna jerked her head in the Doctor's direction and gave Rose a look that made her wonder just what the Doctor had been telling his companions since her about their relationship.

"Okay," Rose replied, sitting down at the table a slight distance from the rest of the gathering. Donna took the seat beside her.

"I know this is a terribly awkward question, but Mr. Time Lord over there won't even admit to it let alone explain it, so I figure you'd be the best to ask." Donna leaned a bit closer and whispered in her ear, "But really, I have to know. Is it just me or does he get rather...touchy-feely with his machinery?"

Rose's eyes widened and she just sort of gaped. She cast a quick glance towards Sarah Jane, knowing that she'd noted the same trait in the eccentric Time Lord, and was just about to reply to Donna when she cut in.

"Aha! I knew it!"

Rose blinked, "Knew what?"

"I asked him once when I caught him at it if he was missing you, but he just brushed me off. I figured whatever that Time Vortex and Rose nonsense meant, it had to explain why he was stroking the damned thing."

Unable to keep it in any longer, Rose started giggling and subsequently drew the attention of the others.

"Oh no, he's always stroked the TARDIS. Even Sarah Jane's told me about him doing it."

Donna just stared, "You're serious, aren't you?"

Rose just nodded, "Ask her yourself."

Grinning as she noticed the Doctor walking their way, Donna couldn't help but ask, "But doesn't it make you jealous?"

She could sense the Doctor behind her and hoped she could keep a straight face long enough to reply, "Oh of course. I mean, it's one thing that he goes gallivanting off with all these other women- but when it comes down to me or the TARDIS, I just don't feel like I stand a chance."

"Rose...what are you talking about?" The Doctor warily asked looking at the mischievous grin on Donna's face.

"Donna was just letting me know that aside from the various humans and whatnot you've been fraternizing with while I've been gone that you're still giving that special Time Lord touch to the TARDIS."

The Doctor opened his mouth and then closed it several times, gaping like a fish out of water. Finally, Donna and Rose couldn't hold back anymore and they both started laughing uncontrollably.

"Ha! I can't believe you thought I was serious about that!" Rose exclaimed.

"Did you see his face? Now _that_ is something I will never forget," Donna piped in.

"Rose, that's not..."

"Oh come on, it's hilarious and you know it. You just don't like us picking on you."

"Hey, what's all the fun over here about?" Jack asked sauntering over.

"Just discussing the Doctor's TARDIS stroking habits," Donna remarked. Jack just grinned wickedly and before the Doctor could intervene, he'd yelled across the room to the rest of the group.

"Okay, who here has seen the Doctor getting a little too friendly with his time ship?"

Martha's hand shot up, followed by Sarah Jane's and Mickey's, and much to the Doctor's chagrin, even Gwen and Ianto put up their hands. The Doctor turned back around to see that Rose, Donna and Jack were all raising their hands as well.

"And this is why I _never_ have reunions," The Doctor muttered as the group proceeded to laugh again at his expense.  


* * *


	3. Circuits, Legos and New New Quirks

**Title:** Circuits, Legos and New New Quirks  
**Genre:** Romance/Humor  
**Rating:** PG  
**Pairings:** Doctor/Rose  
**Summary:** Tinkering with the TARDIS never goes as smoothly as planned.  
**Notes:** S2. Set on the TARDIS trip to New Earth.

* * *

Regenerations always came with surprises, and the Doctor had gone through enough to know that each "new him" had not only a new appearance but often came with a few new little personality quirks as well. Some quirks had been fashion related- like going from a plain jumper and a beat-up leather jacket to a pin-stripped suit. Other quirks were just plain odd, like his strange habit of licking things. At least, he had a feeling that it was going to be a habit after licking the blood the Sycrorax were using; it just seemed like a habity thing and he felt like a habity person.

And that brought him to another new quirk, one he had a sinking feeling might also become a habit. He'd been in the middle of a ramble- a rather good ramble at that- trying to figure what his new self was all about, when out the words came. He'd asked Rose, point-blank, if he was sexy. And if that wasn't enough, he'd winked as well. He'd _flirted_.

"Suppose that's what I get for traveling with Jack Harkness," the Doctor muttered to himself.

"What's that?" Rose asked. He blinked, her voice bringing him out of his thoughts on quirks brought on by Jack's bad influence and back to the present moment.

"Ah. Nothing. Just thinking aloud, nothing important." He grinned, Rose smiled back.

They were currently in-route to Barcelona. He had promised after all. Plus, he was eager to take Rose father than they'd been before. Just to show off…a bit.

Rose had already stowed her things in her room onboard the TARDIS and had rejoined him in the console room.

"So Doctor, are you going to tell me where we're going?"

He opened his mouth, just about to make a very witty quip about dogs with no noses, when the TARDIS lurched in the time vortex. They both grabbed onto the chair as the Doctor looked at the console perplexed.

"Hmmm, now that's a bit fishy. Though I suppose if she's responding to it then it's good-fishy not bad-fishy. Fishy, fishy, fishy." He paused and glanced at Rose, "Fishy is a funny word."

She laughed, "You're mental sometimes, you know that?"

"Aww- but you love it."

Rose smiled. "You just keep telling yourself that."

The Doctor grinned and tapped her on the nose. "You know, I think I will. Just over and over in my mind. 'Rose Tyler thinks I'm mental. But that's okay, because she likes it that way.' Oooh, I made a rhyme. All right- let's see what's up with the TARDIS."

He pulled around the screen and started inputting this and that. From what he could gather, the TARDIS had picked up a telepathic request to reset the coordinates. Rummaging in his pockets, he pulled out his psychic paper to check.

"Oh yes, this is textbook fishy," he murmured thoughtfully on seeing the writing on the paper. "Rose, I'm going to need your help resetting the coordinates."

"What for?"

"Change of plans- but you'll love this place just as much, I promise. But since a delta telepathic override implanted itself into the TARDIS systems, I have to do a manual reset on the vortex coordinate data input."

Rose quirked up an eyebrow, trying to translate the technobabble into standard English. "So, jiggery-pokery?"

He grinned broadly. "Yep. Perhaps with a dash of hullabaloo even."

---------------------------------------------

They'd opened up a grate covering the lower parts of the TARDIS console and the Doctor had crawled down under it to tinker with a small silver box with several wires seemingly growing out of it. Rose knelt beside the open grate, handing down various tools and gizmos as the Doctor asked for them.

"So…what's this delta telepathic override?" Rose asked, handing him something that looked like an eggplant on a stick.

"Well, if you happen to have an exceptionally exceptional mind- such as myself." Rose chuckled. "And you're hooked up to a device that's capable of transmitting the right signals, it's basically like sending a very powerful thought all the way across time and space. Hand me that." He pointed to a small item next to Rose's knee.

"Oh. Hey, this looks like legos."

"It is," he remarked, taking it from her hand and snapping it into place down in the silver box. "Weeellll, not lego-legos, more like build-your-own-circuit-board legos."

Rose leaned over the grate hole. "So what're they called?"

"It's a-_oof_!"

The timeship took a hard veer to the side, tossing Rose down into the grate hole on top of him and effectively cutting his reply off.

"Rose, don't let the--" The grate slammed closed over them. "- the grate close," the Doctor finished dejectedly.

"Don't worry, I'll get it back open," Rose said, leaning up to push on the grate. But before she could touch it, the Doctor yanked her back down flush against him.

"Don't." He said sharply. "Closing that closed the circuit. If we open it- _Bam! Zap! Kaboom!_- not pretty."

"Oh. So we're stuck here, yah?"

"Just until we land." He glanced down at Rose to give her a reassuring smile when the full spectrum of the situation dawned on him.

Rose was laying half on top of him, her head somewhat rested against his chest and one of her legs was haphazardly laid atop his. At this he made a rather undignified noise (that he would later deny making vehemently) that was a cross between a squawk and a panicked whimper.

"Oh…"

"Rather tight quarters," Rose quipped, craning her neck so she could look up at him. A nervous smile tugged at the corners of her mouth.

The Doctor let out a nervous laugh. "Er…I hadn't noticed."

On the surface, she seemed visibly calm; but he could feel the way her heartbeat had started to race. Trying to think of something distracting, the Doctor blurted out the first thing that came to his mind.

"You know, this happened with Jack once."

Rose grinned. "And you somehow got out of that without him shagging you senseless? Do tell."

"Well…okay, it was a _bit_ different. I was down here and, as you might have guessed, Jack jumped in with me. Said he was _helping_, if you'll buy that."

She laughed. "Oh that sounds like Jack all right. He has _no_ concept of personal space." Rose paused, snuggling a bit closer. "Not that that's always a bad thing."

Before the Doctor could muster a reply, she changed the subject again.

"What's it like having two hearts anyways?"

Almost glad of not having to think more about exactly _where_ Rose was, the Doctor answered.

"Bit strange, I suppose. At least from a human viewpoint. Rather normal business for me."

Rose shifted against his chest, moving her ear from over one heart to the other one.

"Yah know, it's like- well you can hear two lungs working together at the same time and all. Same breaths and all that- yeah? But hearts. Two hearts, beating as one."

The Doctor couldn't repress a prideful grin at her appreciative tone.

"Pretty impressive, huh?"

Rose smiled in turn. "Yeah. It is."

The two held each other's gaze until it once again registered that they were in very close quarters, and at that, they both glanced away. An awkward silence descended as the Doctor finished rehooking the wires to the console. At least they should land in the right time and place after all this fiasco. The Doctor considered shifting a little, Rose clearly couldn't be that comfortable in her current sprawled position, but she beat him to it.

"Oh screw it!" She cursed aloud, shifting herself until the space between them was nonexistent.

"Uh…Rose?"

"Oi, shut it. You were thinking it too. I saw those glances. Probably worried my big ole bum would knock a wire out of a place and throw us back into the Jurassic."

The Doctor blinked, perplexed. He wasn't aware he was giving any sort of glances, big bum concerns or otherwise; and if he _was_ giving glances he didn't know about, it was probably not a good thing. Reasoning that he was just concerned and that was absolutely one hundred and ten percent the only reason he was gawking, he continued to mentally determine if he had, in fact, made any sort of "glance."

"You're staring," Rose piped up.

His eyes trailed up from their tangled legs to her face. "Sorry?"

She repressed a laugh, wondering why he was staring at her as if she were some strange koala that had decided to latch onto him.

"I said, you were staring."

"Ah. Just thinking, that's all."

She raised an eyebrow. "Thinking about what?"

Her voice was hopeful and her penetrating eyes seemed to challenge him to admit anything he might be trying to hide.

"Oh this and that."

She gave him a look and he sighed in resignation.

_New appearance for me._ _Same ole Rose._

Wriggling his arm down from where it had been holding the wires, he tentatively settled it on Rose's waist.

"Just thinking that this isn't so bad. At least you have a comfortable pillow, right?"

Rose shook her head at him slithering around any direct answers. Prodding him in the chest, she grinned playfully.

"Dunno, kinda boney and scrawny."

"Hey now…"

"And your weird regrown hand is on my hip."

He tried to act nonchalant about it. "Is it now?"

"It's weird."

"My hand?"

"Having it on my hip."

"Oh," he deflated. He started to pull his hand away when Rose snatched it back.

"But I _suppose_ I have until the TARDIS lands to get used to it in all its weird regrown weirdness."

The Doctor grinned and Rose flashed him a smile as she laid her head against his chest.

"Tell me a story."

"A story?"

"I could've asked 'Are we there yet?' but a story sounds like better idea."

"Hmm…point. Okay. Have I told you about the singing flowers of Bangleniada?"

"Nope."

"Well the Bangleniadians…"

----------------------------------------------

The landing wasn't too bad and the Doctor had to admit, even if it was only to himself, that Rose looked rather adorable nuzzled against his chest as he told her all about the wonderful singing Bazglee flowers. After finishing with that story, he'd told her all about the CIBS (circuitry imbedded block system) and how they were indeed inspired by a man who'd made an entire computer hard drive out of legos.

"Oh my legs are so stiff now," Rose lamented as she crawled out of the grate hole. "And I bet my hair's a right mess."

"Looks quite all right to me."

She turned and stared at him as he too clambered out of the hole.

"What?" He asked defensively. "It's been right under my nose for the past few hours and you think I wouldn't notice? Nice shampoo by the way."

Rose shook her head, a faint blush trying to surface on her cheeks. "You're gonna need shampoo now that you've got hair."

"Blimey," he said, running a hand up through his spiky hair, "you're right. Guess I'll just have to use yours since it'd be a nightmare trying to remember where I put my old stuff in this place."

Rose grinned. "Really now? My shampoo?"

"Is that a problem?" He was also grinning now.

"Nope," she replied, obviously rather pleased with the idea. "But no complaining if I have to make more trips home to pick more up then."

"Deal."

He quickly glanced at the console screen, verified that they'd landed in the right time and place, and snatched up his coat and walked towards the door.

"Ready?" He stuck out his hand and wiggled his fingers. She giggled and took his hand.

"Of course."

* * *


	4. Once Upon a TARDIS

**Title:** Once Upon a TARDIS  
**Genre:** Romance/Humor  
**Rating:** PG  
**Pairing:** Rose/Ten II  
**Summary:** [Post-Series 4] A Christmas TARDIS trip goes a bit awry when the two arrive at Hotel Fantasia.  
**Notes:** For **haro**.

* * *

_{Welcome to the Hotel Fantasia. You have been allotted the Fairytale Suite on floor three. Please enjoy your stay.}_

They really should have known then, that things were not all that they seemed. But they remained happily oblivious, smiling and chatting as they took the key from the front desk's robot.

Taking the elevator down to the third floor, the Doctor rambled about the planet Bialya and its history.

"And that's when they entered the resort industry, planning to capitalize off their planet wide naturally white sand beaches and crystal blue waters. As you might have guessed from our room's name, it's a popular honeymoon destination for all of the Crevasse Galaxy and some neighboring galaxies."

Rose grinned, her tongue peaking out between her teeth. "So…for a Christmas gift you took me to a honeymoon locale? Should'a told mum that, she wouldnt'a been so fussed about us swanning off on Christmas Eve."

The Doctor rubbed the back of his head nervously. "Wellll… it's not just for honeymoons."

"But it ain't no kid friendly place," Rose said, indicating a painting on the hallway wall of intertwined lovers. "Definitely a place for couples."

Standing to his full height and trying to look as serious and important as possible, the Doctor rounded on her. "If I was selecting honeymoon locations, Bialya would only be about ten on my list. The twin planets of Areis and Aphros, now that's where you'd take someone. We'll…have to go there sometime."

Smiling, Rose looped her arm through his. "I'll look forward to that."

The Doctor went back to rambling about technical developments in Bialya and Rose momentarily tuned him out. The whole morning had been a whirl of activity, starting when the Doctor nudged her awake and culminating in him taking her to their TARDIS and telling her he had somewhere he wanted to take her. Of course, Jackie hadn't taken it well, having gotten quite used to fussing over the Doctor and Rose on Christmas morning each year while their new TARDIS grew. Pete just wished them well and Tony begged the Doctor to bring him back something "cool and alien."

It would be their first Christmas adventure since their TARDIS finished growing to its working size over seven months earlier; the Doctor spending many of those first months testing it and getting the circuit broken back as a blue police box. He joked that it just felt wrong otherwise and Rose couldn't have agreed more.

This trip would also be their first test run of the psychic paper the Doctor had salvaged from an alien trunk that had popped out of the rift a few days earlier. The robots running the front desk didn't seem to find it suspicious at all when the Doctor used it as his form of payment, the paper earning them one of the hotel's deluxe suites without a second glance from the robotic staff.

But unbeknownst to either of them, their psychic paper had worked a bit too well…

When they reached the third floor, they were both perplexed to see only a wall with a single door in it.

"Guess the suite's pretty big, eh?"

"Deluxe suite, remember?" He replied, shaking his psychic paper at her. "Deluxe must mean we get an entire floor to ourselves. I was hoping it meant free room service, but we might rate that too. Oooh, do you think we'll have our own personal pool? I kind of miss my Olympic sized one in the TARDIS."

Rose giggled, prodding him in the arm. "You are just like a kid, you know that?"

The Doctor beamed. "Kid at Christmas, that's me. Go on now, this is your treat. You open the door."

Shouldering past him, Rose snorted. "Betcha just want to make sure you get the head start on running if there's something right ominous behind this."

"After that left hook you planted on the Gurlovian dictator last week…"

"He was getting a bit too friendly with me. That's all."

The Doctor reached down and clasped her hand. "It's odd, but you don't seem to mind me getting friendly with you."

She turned her head and pecked a kiss on his nose. "I only tolerate you. Remember that."

"Yes ma'am," he replied with a mock salute. Rose rolled her eyes.

"Oi, no saluting." He grinned even wider at that and her frown faded. "Right then, opening the door to either a quite nice suite or our imminent doom. Here goes."

The door swung open and the two just stared. The room seemed to be a vast open space that seemed far too large to fit inside the building they'd just entered, let alone able to be contained on a single floor of it. In the distance, they could see a large castle with a tall tower and near where they stood there was a forest. Before either of them could comment on their strange accommodations, a hunched over woman that was clearly supposed to be a witch appeared in front of them.

"Did she just…"

"Appear out of nowhere? Yeah, I think so."

The Doctor shrugged. "I guess they're taking the whole Fairytale Suite deal a bit literally. Hello there, I'm…"

"You there!" The witch pointed at Rose and a disembodied voice came from unseen speakers above. "I will not stand for maidens fairer than I. You will be punished for entering my kingdom."

The witch reached for what seemed to be a magic wand and the Doctor jumped in front of Rose. "Now hold it just a mo-"

But before he could finish, a spell shot out of the wand and both the Doctor and the witch disappeared. Rose looked behind her, out into the normal looking hotel hallway and then sighed.

"What've ya gotten us into this time, Doctor?"

The witch's voice, which Rose concluded was probably recorded and being played back, spoke again.

"Ha-ha-ha! I have taken your precious princess from you, noble knight. If you wish to see her again, you will have to fight against me. Come and rescue her at the tallest tower of my castle, if you dare."

Trailing off into yet another strain of cackling laughter, Rose noticed a white stallion appear in the forest to her right. Approaching it, she tentatively reached out to pet it.

When her hands met a solid horse, she smiled. "Then it's not all holograms. That or you're a very realistic one."

With a slight popping noise and a clatter, a pile of things dropped down next to the horse. Looking down at it, Rose could barely suppress a smirk. Clearly this whole suite was setup as a romantic roleplay for anyone who loved the stereotypical damsel-in-distress plot. And as Rose lifted up pieces of what was clearly _shining armor_, she burst out laughing.

"Oh this is just rich. That'll mean the Doctor is playing the damsel. Oooh, if he's dolled up in some sorta princess gown I am not letting him out of it 'till I get pictures on my cell phone." Fussing with the pieces of armor, she fitted on the chest plate and put the cloak on. Finally, she donned the plumed helmet and smiled up at the horse.

"I take it you're my white stallion for saving the damsel?"

Seeming to understand, the horse shook its head.

"Right. Then let's go rescue him."

----------------------------------------------

The Doctor's first stray thought was that finally there was some sort part of Bialya that seemed to be a bit Christmassy looking. (He by no means expected the far away planet to be decked with holly and Santas, but a little festive spirit wouldn't have hurt.) Problem being that he hadn't expected to be the one decked out in red and green.

Frowning down at the elaborate dress he'd been magicked into, he sighed, blowing up at his fringe of hair.

"Should've remembered that in the 4100s Bialya had that whole roleplay phase. Ah well. At least we didn't get the Love-Prison Suite; that would have been awkward." Shaking images of Rose in a Princess Leia Slave outfit out of his mind and figuring that with his current luck, he would have ended up in the outfit, the Doctor set about to figure out exactly what the situation was.

First, he glanced around at his surroundings; a circular room with a single window, all decorated with generic medieval furniture. On not being able to see much else from his seated position on the bed, he swung his legs over the edge and stood. As he moved to take a step forward, he stumbled on his petticoats and cursed.

"Oi, that's just not right!" He shouted down at his multilayered skirt. Holding it up away from his feet (which were thankfully still clad in his converse and not some pointed-toed, high-heeled monstrosity) he waddled over to the window.

"Hmm, any way down from here? Course not. This is all set up so the damsel just sits here and waits patiently for their prince to come." The Doctor smirked at that, "Oh I almost wish they'd gotten Rose now, she would have busted out of here so quickly and come storming down to me to ask what the hell I was thinking bringing us here."

A flicker of white caught his eye emerging from the faux forest and the Doctor had to grin.

"Rose in shining armor at twelve o'clock," he remarked, leaning out the window. "Rose! Over here!"

He could see her glance up at his voice and then he remembered the dress and turned to retreat into the room. But like before, he stumbled on his petticoats and went flailing down in a pile of red and green fabric.

Outside the window, the Doctor swore he heard Rose laughing.

--------------------------------

She couldn't help it. Really. As much as she'd thought how humorous it would be to see the Doctor in a princess gown, she hadn't really expected it to happen.

"Ooh I am so getting pictures of this," Rose murmured to her horse.

Jumping down from her noble steed, she shouted up at the window.

"Rapunzel, Rapunzel let down your spiky hair."

"Ha ha." She could hear the Doctor sarcastically shoot back from inside.

"Or you know, anything else long and able to be climbed?"

"Rose…"

She sighed, knowing that tone of voice all too well. "What now?"

"They took my suit."

Rose snorted, imagining his sulky face as he realized he couldn't take off the dress unless he wanted to run around starkers, and the Doctor snapped.

"Oi! Watch it Earthgirl! My sonic screwdriver was in that suit. I just got setting 354 to work on it too; now I'll have to start all over on building it. And I'd worn that suit just for this trip! Felt silly going traveling in a shirt and jeans…"

"Doctor, I doubt this crazy hotel is gonna steal your clothes and never give 'em back. S'probably something that'll reappear when you're finished with the roleplay."

"Ah, so you figured that out?"

"That this is some mental roleplay for people who really need to get out more often? Yeah, that was pretty obvious when shining armor and a white stallion popped into existence next to me. So the sooner you throw something outta that window I can climb up, the faster you get your suit back."

The Doctor glanced around the room. "I've got sheets. But…"

"But what?" Rose asked, hands on her hips in a perfect Jackie Tyler impression.

"Err…I was considering the sheets to my current attire…"

Rose walked closer to the base of the tower, her armor clanking as she did so. "I've already seen ya in your pretty dress, so just fork over the sheets."

The silence went on for a few moments and Rose really wished she could see the mortified look on his face on realizing she'd seen him in a dress.

Finally, a tied rope fashioned out of sheets and curtains started creeping out the window ledge.

"That's a nice Don Quixote hat you've got, by the way."

Rose blinked, pulling off the plumed helmet and regarding it. "What?"

"Helmet of Mambrino, actually a barber's bowl with a chip outta it?"

Putting the now obviously bowl shaped hat back on her head, Rose frowned up at him. "Oh hush up, Marie Antoinette, and start climbing down."

The Doctor grimaced. "Can you, I don't know, look the other way or something?"

"'fraid I'm gonna look up your skirt?"

As the two glared at each other, a loud pop resounded from the base of the tower revealing the old witch again.

"I see you are attempting to rescue your princess, brave knight. But as I forewarned you, you will have to get through me first."

With copious amounts of smoke and lighting effects, the holographic witch morphed into a large black dragon. The Doctor, who was now perched on the ledge of the window, called out.

"Rose, I'm going to try and jump on it. Just stay back."

"I'm the knight here, princess poofy dress. Just sit there in your tower and let me handle it. Remember, mean left hook? And well, would you look at this?" She said, pulling out the sword that had just appeared hilted to her side, "They've even given me a sword."

"Now I'm worried for all our safety."

"Oi, I've seen you with a sword and you aren't no master. Just hush up and try to get more sheets or curtains or something, because your rope is rather short."

Seeing that Rose was indeed right about the length of the rope only reaching about half-way down the tower, the Doctor looked around the room for more cloth. Down below, Rose drew her sword and faced off against the dragon.

"Come on flame-breath; let's see what you've got!"

With a roar, the dragon twisted its slender body protectively around the tower. Twisting its long neck towards Rose, it belched out flame right at her. But Rose was used to this sort of adventure and quickly acted, pulling her cape up in front of her face and then tearing it away as it started to burn.

"You know this would really suck if I wasn't used to facing off against monsters every other day of the week. Is this thing on advanced mode or something?"

"It probably has a bio-emote detector," the Doctor explained, adding another sheet to his rope. "The dragon is equipped with a sensor to detect the fear and adrenaline of the person it is facing off against. And since, well, it got you. It's on the highest mode it'll go to."

As Rose used her sword to deflect the dragon's clawed hand that had come crashing down at her, she cursed. "So you're telling me if I was some wussy guy, this thing would go easy on me; but since I have some guts, it's out to fry me?"

The Doctor grinned, lounging as best he could in his dress on the window sill. "Well…I could help, but I'm supposed to sit here and wait patiently for my knight in shining armor to rescue me. Too bad really, because a well-aimed kick to this thing's head might do it in."

A determined glint flickered in her eyes as she stared down the dragon. "Okay big boy, get down here and face me."

As the dragon lunged for her, Rose took a running leap for her horse. Gripping the saddle, she cleared it as if it was a pummel horse in gymnastics; launching her feet right towards the dragon's head.

A swift kick to the head, as it turned out, only succeeded in angering the dragon further.

"What were you saying about a kick doing it in?" She asked, running quickly away from the scorching flames.

"It was worth a try."

Dodging another attempt by the dragon to bite off her ankles, Rose swiveled around and brought her sword down on its neck. This seemed to be the trick to turn the dragon off and the hologram flickered out of existence. From the tower above, Rose heard applause.

"Good show. Glad I put my money on the knight," the Doctor quipped.

Grinning up at him, Rose threw down her helmet near the smoldering remains of her cape. "You better have put it on the knight."

"Oh and Rose?"

"Hmm?"

"This is the longest I can get it. I'm guessing that the holographics are making the tower look taller than it is, so I'm just gonna climb down what I can and then jump."

Looking at the rope made of curtains, towels and sheets that only reached about ¾ of the way down, Rose warily replied. "I'm not sure Doctor..."

But before she could voice her opinion on the fact that holographics were probably supposed to make the damsel's hair grow out ala Rapunzel instead of the sheets being used, the Doctor had already started his descent.

As he reached the end of his rope, he glanced down around his billowing skirts. "Okay, jumping now!"

About mid-fall, both he and Rose seemed to realize that the tower was indeed as tall as it seemed. Hoping that between his many petticoats and her chest plate of armor that it wouldn't hurt too much, Rose rushed under him and held out her arms to catch him.

"Rose, get out of the way!"

"N'uh. Your skinny bum can't be that heavy."

"But the velocity of my fall, combined with the weight of this damned dress…" He never finished, his sentence being cut off as he hit with a 'ooof' into Rose's waiting arms.

Rose toppled under his weight, the two falling to the ground in a swirl of petticoats and displaced holographic grass.

"Nice catch," the Doctor remarked, pushing aside his skirts to find Rose's face.

"Nice boxers," she quipped, obviously getting a bit of a view under his petticoats.

"Hey now!"

The two mock glared at each other, finally caving and both breaking into peals of laughter.

"You look so ridiculous in that dress," Rose stammered between giggles.

"And you with the bowl on your head," the Doctor retorted.

Struggling a bit around the vast amount of fabric that seemed to make up the dress, Rose managed to sit up with the Doctor seated in her lap. "You see now why I won't just sit still and wait for you to do something?"

He leaned his forehead in to rest against hers. "Yeah. Bit of a bore actually, that sitting and waiting business."

"And honestly, this dress must weight a ton because you sure as hell don't."

"Oi. Part-Time Lord metabolism. Not my fault."

Leaning her face in closer, Rose whispered, "So fair princess, do I get a reward for my daring rescue of you?"

The Doctor snorted. "Welllll, I think I can manage something."

And closing the remaining distance between them, he kissed her tenderly; Rose reaching up to tangle her fingers in his hair as they deepened the kiss. Around them, the holographic world disappeared; leaving them in their normal clothes in a nice but very normal hotel room. But at that moment, they were a bit too preoccupied to care.

-------------------------------------------------------

The Doctor was, of course, pleased to find himself back in his suit; the sonic screwdriver safely in his pocket. Rose, on the other hand, was a bit miffed that she'd not managed to snag a picture of the Doctor in his dress.

Trying to distract Rose from the fact she hadn't gotten such a picture, the Doctor went over to the wall and pointed out the dial that was embedded there.

"Rose, look at this."

Above the dial read 'Bedroom Décor' and there was five different options you could turn the dial to. The current reading was for 'standard,' but the other four were definitely carrying through on the room's theme.

"Hmm, so what should we go for? Forest Cottage?"

"Sounds too full of dwarves."

"Slumbering Castle?"

"After fighting that dragon, I'm not keen on dealing with any more castles."

"A Thousand and One Dreams?"

"Doesn't the bloke wanna kill the girl in that until she distracts him?"

"Ah yeah, might get a bit messy. And the last one is: Mermaid Grotto."

His eyes seemed to light up with a childlike excitement at this one and Rose sighed in resignation. "Fine, but if we end up underwater I am not forgiving you."

Twisting the dial around, and getting quick glimpses of the options they'd vetoed as they did so, they arrived on the Mermaid Grotto. The whole room settled; the walls now painted an ocean blue and the décor definitely reflecting an under-the-sea feel.

"Rose, the bed!"

He was halfway to it by the time she looked, noticing the elaborate waterbed in the center of the room.

"It's got real fish in it!"

Shaking her head at his exuberance, Rose yawned. "Okay, this knight needs her beauty sleep. Did we bring anything to change into?"

The Doctor frowned, then jumped up off the bed and raced over to the drawers. Opening them up, he exclaimed. "Aha, thought so! Deluxe suites usually provide."

Handing over a white nightie to her that was adorned with seashells; the Doctor took the pyjamas covered in little fish for himself. Setting aside her clothes and pulling it on, Rose crawled onto the waterbed and stretched.

"Next time you take me somewhere as a Christmas gift, let me know ahead of time if there's a chance of dragons."

The bed sank down as the Doctor's weight was added to it, his arms sliding around her waist and pulling her close.

"Aw, but it was a bit fun. Much safer than our usual adventures. Sort of like the Land of Fiction, but without the crazy guy and master brain manipulating everything."

Snuggling up against him, Rose smiled. "Land of Fiction?"

She could feel him smile against her temple, "Oh yes. Went there ages ago back during my second incarnation. Met Rapunzel there, ironically."

And as the Doctor told her of his adventure, Rose rested her head against his chest and drifted off to a peaceful sleep. It had been a wonderful Christmas Eve, dragons and all.

-----------------------------------------------------

Rose awoke the next morning to a curt knock on their room's door. Figuring it was breakfast, she nudged the Doctor awake beside her. When he just shifted and went back to snoozing, she leaned over him and kissed him.

"Oi, sleeping beauty. Wake up."

Blearily squinting up at her, he frowned. "Enough with the princess jokes, please."

"No way. You are never living that down. I'm gonna get the room service at the door, so get up 'kay?"

Sliding off the bed, she padded across to the door and opened it. Sure enough, a robot with a rolling tray of breakfast food was standing there.

"Good morning, Miss. By your designation as an Earth visitor, I am required to wish you a Happy Christmas."

Rose smiled. "Thanks."

"Also, this is a memento of your stay. You may purchase more at the front desk when you checkout, but this one is complementary as part of the deluxe package."

The robot handed over a large envelope to Rose then and with a nod, rolled off towards the elevators. Curious as to what it was, she opened it up and had to repress a laugh.

It was similar to those novelty photos they gave you at amusement parks, those flattering images of you right as the roller coaster started its drop and the camera caught you screaming like an idiot. Except this one was something Rose knew she would cherish the rest of her life.

It was clearly snapped by a hidden camera when they were in the roleplay room, right at the moment they had kissed. This of course meant that Rose was still in her singed knight attire while the Doctor, in his princess finery, sat in her lap. The cardboard frame around it read "Dreams Do Come True" in fancy font.

"Dreams come true indeed," she murmured to herself, already plotting to purchase several more copies at checkout just incase the Doctor tried to destroy this one.

Sliding it back into the envelope just in time, Rose turned to see the Doctor bounding over to inspect their breakfast. After popping a strawberry into his mouth, he leaned over the tray and pecked a kiss on her lips.

"Happy Christmas, Rose," he said with a grin.

Grinning back, she daubed a bit of the whipped cream from the waffles onto his nose. "Happy Christmas to you too, Doctor."


End file.
